I Know Who I Want to Be :: Personal Narrative Essays

I Know Who I Want to Be   I would not have cared ab prohibited being eliminated from the Rhodes Scholarship disceptation if I had known that was the last day Id see Lee stone pit alive.   It was almost a coincidence that I saw him at all--I was sign of the zodiac for the state round of the Rhodes, my interview was three blocks from where my parents were meeting him for lunch and I figured, almost on a whim, that I might as well stop by. So I walked over with my mom, exchanged hugs with Lee, his wife Judy and his parents, and gave a nervous run-down of my interview. Lee was, as always, in good spirits, pushover jokes and wishing me luck. I was probably there less than 15 minutes.   The Rhodes competitor has this sadistic element in that they tell you the same day whether or not you make the cut. The 12 of us, (or was it 14?), sat nervously in a corporate law office board room that afternoon, until the add-in came in and read off the names. We non-finalists all k ind of smiled weakly and slunk out to the elevators. I was duly devastated, but also strangely embarrassed that I cared.   Eight days later, I came home from an obscure conversation with an senescent friend to discover my parents and little brother wide awake at 1233 a.m. I heard them coming down the entrance hall from the kitchen, and there was this note on the front hall table almost Lee, a hospital, calling someone. I couldnt decipher my brothers distinctly male-14-year-old handwriting onwards my mother said, Lee had another heart attack.   Oh my God... Its worse, she said. Hes dead.   Ive known the Stones for 17 years--since Judy was pregnant with their daughter Laura, whos now a senior in high school, and I was four and a half. The Stone family spent their summers down the street from my family in Long Island, and I grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons with Lauras two older brothers.   In all our family gatherings, Lee was the center of the excitement. He led countless body of water ski expeditions, starred in neighborhood dramatic productions and permeated every display case with his wry sense of humor. I can vividly remember the afternoon he and I got stranded on an intermediate trail far-off too difficult for my fourth-day-ever on skis.